Always says the same thing, that's how you cheer me up. I don't know that word you use anymore, I can't wrap my mind around it.
What is happiness?
What even is contentment?
I'm not content with where i am.
I'm not happy with what I'm doing.
These walls surrounding me, I know them too well. They've always been here, time to put my eyes on something else.
I feel so wrong, this is all wrong. Not right at all.
These words are so frustrating to get out, I hate typing two words then deleting it all.
deleting it and my mind gets filled with other words. Words I cannot even put here,
because they won't come out right.
They never do.
I don't like where I'm at,
I don't like being here.
I don't like these people,
and being so uncomfortable around them.
I wish I could tell you.
I wish I could let you know.
Or else everything will seem good in your eyes,
you will think I'm okay.
But inside this monster is tearing away at my organs,
tangled up with my innards and his next stop is my heart.
Part of me wishes he would go to my heart faster,
so this will all be over.
Part of me wants to just run away
until he does get to my heart.
So I can feel happy again.
I can feel right.
Never wrong.
Never upset.
Ever again.